Using weight loss drugs like Ozempic is not ‘cheating’ – and why does it matter how a person changes their body anyway?

As you might know if you read my columns, see me a mile away, or talk to me for five seconds, I am a card-carrying lifelong member of the Fat Lesbian Club. However, ever since I first laid eyes on the television show Roseanne (very important to me) as a small child, the actor John Goodman has held a special place in my heart. It was confusing for me: did I want to be Dan Conner, or be with Dan Conner? I’m still not sure. He has always been so hot to me, from Dan on Roseanne to Fred Flintstone to Walter in The Big Lebowski. His body has now drawn attention in the last week or so, after a photo of him showing significant weight loss went viral.

It’s not Goodman’s 74-year-old body (his choice) I want to discuss, but instead the arguments that broke out about how he lost the weight. On one side there were many people congratulating him on his hard work. Then there were people claiming he had taken Ozempic so it wasn’t actually hard work, and then there were people defending that by saying he’d been losing weight for years, so he’d done it the “right way”, actually.

Dicky Tice recalls digging trenches with a JCB as a young man, omitting to say the firm he went on to run was founded by his grandfather

You have to hand it to them. Most political parties would have chosen to go quiet, what with it being the middle of August and having next to nothing to say. But Reform are made of stronger stuff. They aren’t bothered that the only interesting thing about them at the moment is that they are fighting like rats in a sack. They seem to wear that as a badge of honour. A coming of age sophistication. So for the second time in a week they called a press conference.

Obviously there was no sign of Nigel Farage. He is still in hiding, avoiding answering questions on Reform’s unusual funding models and perhaps having therapy to recover from his humiliating byelection adventure. Nor were we to be graced with Zia Yusuf who is now close to becoming a persona non grata in the party having picked fights with almost everyone. It’s just that no one, least of all Tim Montgomerie, is allowed to say so until Nige works out what to do about him.

New managers galore suggest many of the usual suspects will struggle to dethrone the champions, but their own hunger could be the key

Mikel Arteta wants to get his messaging absolutely right. According to him, Arsenal are not about to defend their Premier League title. They are set to attack another one.

Remember Win the dog, who the manager brought in to the club’s training ground a few years back? She must now be called “Won”. But it is when Arteta quibbles over another bout of semantics that he highlights why he is entering the new season with such energy and optimism.

As the self-professed geeky rockers release their conceptual 20th album, Rivers Cuomo and Patrick Wilson discuss dodging failure, being saved by fans and their obsessive creativity

The first song Rivers Cuomo wrote for Weezer’s new album, their 20th, blatantly mimics the US rockers’ 1994 debut single, Undone (The Sweater Song). On the track CEO, the singer-guitarist grumbles over a slow, Velvets-y backing about having to crank out “another 90s jam” and wishing he could do “something new – but nobody wants to hear that”. It’s a deliciously meta moment, but also one that allows Cuomo to gently vent “my frustrations over people wanting me to just write songs about our first two albums”.

Cuomo wrote the song straight after SZNZ, the four-album song-cycle Weezer released throughout 2022, each album named after a season. That project fed his notoriously intense, analytic and occasionally obsessive approach to songwriting. Thanks to the kind of data artists have at their fingertips in the streaming age, though, he realised that, with each subsequent SZNZ, “fewer and fewer people were listening to them”.

From feelgood romances to heated interactions, here are the films that best capture the seasonal moment

Let’s begin at the end. 2 September 1962: the final night of the summer vacation; one last big blowout before adult life intervenes. George Lucas’s rambunctious salute to footloose youth paints vivid vignettes of Modesto, California, rocking around the clock with its loose-knit gaggle of characters. But this has one eye on the meter and knows that time is running short.

Family relationships remain damaged and there is no clarity on how Sussexes’ security concerns have been resolved

Just as the departure of the Duke and Duchess of Sussex’ from the UK six years ago came as a complete surprise, so too is their shock announcement they now intend to return.

Their unilateral decision could fairly be said to have blind-sided the royals. King Charles was only informed on Sunday and is said not to have been involved in the decision making. No mention was made when Harry, Meghan and their two children visited Charles at his private home, Highgrove, last month.

Exclusive: Bridget Phillipson says politicians have helped fuel hatred and that police are not taking violence against women and girls seriously enough

Racism and sexism have become normalised in Britain, the equalities minister has said, as she warned that young men were being sucked into violent misogyny by the “cesspit” of social media.

Bridget Phillipson said she was increasingly worried about how commonplace misogyny and racism had become, fuelled by online interactions and statements by politicians she said would not have been acceptable a few years ago.

Prime minister wishes couple well in their move back from the US to a non-royal residence outside London

• Harry and Meghan: key moments and controversies since US move

Security arrangements for the Duke and Duchess of Sussex while living in the UK are a “private matter”, Andy Burnham has said, after news that Harry and Meghan intend to relocate to Britain from the US this month.

The UK prime minister refused to be drawn on security funding, saying: “This is a private matter. It’s a matter for Harry and Meghan, and we wish them well in the moves that they’re making.”

Exclusive: Mitchell Palmer has also argued for privatising the NHS and immigration as way of cutting poverty

Reform UK’s new economic adviser has previously called the pensions triple lock unsustainable, advocated privatising the NHS and welcomed migration as a poverty alleviation tool, the Guardian can reveal.

Robert Jenrick, Reform’s economic spokesperson, has appointed Mitchell Palmer, a rightwing economist at the free-market Adam Smith Institute, as one of his key aides.

Government announce plan for ‘stepping stone’ qualification as 620,000 year 11 students face retaking maths or English after failure to achieve grade 4

The government’s plans to make young people continue studying maths and English if they fail GCSEs could be demotivating and ineffective, according to education experts and school leaders after retake pass rates slumped this year.

Only one in seven students in the age group retaking GCSE maths after a previous failure got a grade 4 or above this summer, while only one in six managed to pass English, meaning the majority will have to retake the exams next year if they remain in education or training.