At this point, it’s trite to say that a bad film feels as if it’s been AI generated, but this simplistic sequel is next-level – it’s nothing more than an Easter holiday cash grab

Here is an inert and uninteresting animated follow-up to The Super Mario Bros Movie, based on the legacy video game about two wacky Italian-Brooklyn plumbers Mario and Luigi, voiced here by Chris Pratt and Charlie Day; this kind of stereotype is evidently the last in mainstream entertainment to be considered offensive. Now they and mushroom-kingdom ruler Princess Peach (voiced by Anya Taylor-Joy) have to rescue Rosalina (Brie Larson), the adoptive mother of the faintly Minion-y creatures called the Lumas. She has been abducted by Bowser Jr (Benny Safdie), the son of wicked turtle Bowser (Jack Black), who did very much the same sort of thing in the previous film.

Of course it’s intended for little kids, but it surely didn’t need to be such a visually dull screensaver of a movie, with even more of the cheesy, Euro-knockoff look of that first film. And, again, the paucity of funny lines is a real puzzle. The last film gave us a concerted attempt to spoof the game’s 2D graphics and its left-to-right gameplay movement, with all the running and jumping, making a comic virtue of how absurd it looks. There’s little or nothing of that now, just a pretty uninspired variation of the first storyline, a generic quest adventure whose incidental plot point of Mario’s supposed crush on Princess Peach generates absolutely no interest at all.

Sadie Sink and Noah Jupe’s pure chemistry perfectly encapsulates the urgent and uncompromising nature of first love

Has the conveyor belt from screen-to-stage celebrity turned full circle when a star from a hit TV series steps on to the West End stage in a production that is running contemporaneously with a stage adaptation of that same TV series? Sadie Sink, better known to Stranger Things fans as Max Mayfield, performed her West End debut while Stranger Things: First Shadow played up the road, at the Phoenix theatre, in a prequel to the Duffer Brothers’ series.

It may seem like the Netflixification of the West End, but Sink actually began life as a theatre actor – and earned a Tony nomination for Broadway’s run of John Proctor is a Villain, currently at the Royal Court for its London run.

At the Harold Pinter theatre, London, until 20 June.

Who needs critics when the Reform man is so adept at patting his own back – and that’s easy to do in publishing: there’s a sales list for everyone

‘She’s produced a bestseller!” panted the Spectator. “Liz Truss’s new book has been out for less than 72 hours and it’s already sold out on Amazon.” Thus began the fairly widespread British media hallucination that the 45-day PM was once more igniting the nation with her 2024 book Ten Years to Save the West. In the end, Truss’s book sold 2,228 copies in the UK in its first week, which placed it at No 70 in the “bestseller” charts . The next week it had fallen back to 223, comfortably obliterated by any number of cookbooks, novels, self-help titles and sticker books, none of which had enjoyed anything like its level of publicity. You hear a lot about AI hallucinations, but rather less about the hallucinations suffered by journalists all on their own.

So, then, to the furore over the academic/recent Reform candidate Matt Goodwin’s new book, which I find at least as high-stakes for our culture as that courtroom battle between Gwyneth Paltrow and the – I think? – retired optometrist who accidentally skied into her.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

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He has faced off a fighter jet, ridden a motorised bed and even been a Beano character. As he steps down, the mighty Guardian critic delivers his insights, confesses his crimes and relives his highs

After writing about art at the Guardian for 30 years, I have been asked by my editor to reflect on what I have learned. I am not sure I’m capable of doing that. What I can do is write about what I have seen. Even when you are an eyewitness, things get murky very quickly, and critics are among the most unreliable of narrators.

An unknown woman at a table writes a letter we can’t see, while her maid reacts to something beyond the painted window. We can’t see what she’s smiling at either. How is it that Vermeer’s 1670-71 Woman Writing a Letter, With Her Maid, makes me feel somehow privy to its intimacies when almost everything that matters is withheld? You have to make it up. The stories come barging in, something you can’t quite imagine happening in such an ordered world.

For some, it’s a meat thermometer or a knife, for others a roasting tin, a reliable peeler or, yes, a teapot (gravy, anyone?). Let the cooking perfection begin

Crispy roast potatoes, golden yorkshire puddings and perfectly cooked meat (or a vegetarian centrepiece) – there’s nothing like a good roast dinner. But making a roast can be quite a balancing act in the kitchen. There’s a fine art to juggling all the elements: you want to make sure nothing is over- or under-cooked, and that everything is still warm when you come to serve it.

To refine your techniques and help you feel like a pro in the kitchen, we asked top chefs from around the UK about the cooking equipment they rely on to make the perfect roast. Featuring life-changing peelers, roasting tins that make the crispiest potatoes and a temperature probe to help you cook to perfection, these are their recommendations.

Brighton fans have fond memories of the Italian, hailed as a genius by rivals, but his time on the south coast went sour

Things may have ended on a sour note but there is a reason why a giant picture of a beaming Roberto De Zerbi adorns the wall outside the home dressing room at the Amex Stadium. It was taken in 2023 at the end of the Italian’s first season at Brighton after he had led the club to sixth in the Premier League – their highest finish – and taken them into Europe for the first time.

Three years later, memories of De Zerbi remain strong among Brighton supporters. It is a legacy that Fabian Hürzeler has found hard to emulate since succeeding De Zerbi, who fell out with the club’s owner, Tony Bloom, over squad recruitment.

US president reiterates that responsibility for reopening strait of Hormuz rests on the countries who rely on it

• ‘Get your own oil’: Trump launches tirade against Europe for not joining Iran war

Saudi Arabia’s defence ministry has said it has intercepted and destroyed ten drones over the past hours, and eight missiles launched towards the Riyadh area and the country’s eastern region.

Early this morning Kuwait said its air defences were responding to hostile missile and drone attacks. Neither Saudi Arabia nor Kuwait said where the drones or missiles came from.

Iran attacked and set ablaze a fully loaded crude oil tanker off Dubai. Local authorities later said response teams contained the incident with no oil leakage and that no injuries had been reported

Donald Trump warned that the US would obliterate Iran’s energy plants and oil wells if it did not open the strait of Hormuz.

The Israeli military said four soldiers had been killed in combat in southern Lebanon, where its forces are clashing with Iran-backed Hezbollah.

Two giant Chinese container ships have sailed through the strait of Hormuz on their second attempt to leave the Gulf after turning back on Friday, ship-tracking data shows. The transit signals a diplomatic breakthrough between Beijing and Tehran as Iran widens its list of approved nations for transiting the vital route, Lloyd’s List reported.

Indonesia’s foreign minister called for an emergency UN security council meeting and a thorough investigation” into a “heinous attack” after three UN peacekeepers from Indonesia were killed in southern Lebanon.

Blasts were heard in Tehran and power cuts hit some areas of the capital, Iranian media reported on Tuesday. Israel earlier carried out missile strikes on what it called military infrastructure in Tehran and infrastructure used by Hezbollah in Beirut.

Japan and Indonesia agreed to step up coordination on energy security, Japanese PM Sanae Takaichi said on Tuesday.

Two Iranian missile launches targeted central Israel, Israeli media reported, with the emergency service saying it had not received reports of any injuries.

Turkey reported a ballistic missile launched from Iran had entered Turkish airspace before being shot down by Nato air and missile defences.

An earlier summary of key developments is here.

Many countries in Europe have called the conflict illegal, with some blocking Israeli and US planes from moving weapons through their airspace

• Middle East crisis – live updates

Donald Trump has launched a tirade against European countries that refused to join his war against Iran, calling out the UK and France, as transatlantic relations soured from the spiralling conflict that has wreaked havoc on the global economy.

On his Truth Social website, the US president told governments worried about fuel prices to “go get your own oil” by force from the Gulf, comments that sent oil prices even higher.

Ukraine says Russian spy satellite had photographed base before strike, as Moscow accused of helping Tehran

• Middle East crisis – live updates

The destruction of a US E-3 Sentry airborne warning and control system (AWACS) aircraft in an Iranian strike on a Saudi Arabian airbase has raised questions over how a critical surveillance asset was left unprotected, and how Iran was able to launch a direct strike on the plane.

The plane was one of 16 operational E-3s, which first went into production in the 1960s and carry sophisticated monitoring equipment that allow them to warn of airborne threats such as missiles, as well as surveil and monitor their assigned battle space including communications, troop and equipment movements and air defence sites.

People who are not obese but overweight and at risk of serious cardiovascular events eligible for weekly jabs

The NHS in England is to offer more than 1 million people weight-loss drugs to reduce their risk of heart attacks and strokes.

Semaglutide (Wegovy) is already available on the health service for some people living with obesity, and also offered under the brand name Ozempic to treat type 2 diabetes.