Many yearn and yearn for the Greater Manchester mayor to claim his Westminster crown. They should be careful what they wish for – as should he

Since Andy Burnham’s will-he-won’t-he return to Westminster is back in the news, permit me to advance a theory. Andy Burnham is Johnny Depp. Stay with me! We somehow have to make this more fun than immersing ourselves in the remorselessly petty mathematical dynamics of Labour’s national executive committee (NEC).

So here goes: movie-wise, before Pirates of the Caribbean, Johnny Depp used to embody a desirable scarcity model. As a cultural asset he was high-prestige, low-supply, and every rudderless director thought that if only the mysterious Johnny was at the helm of their project, then everything would be rosy. He was different, he was cool, he was hyper-selective, he withheld himself, he didn’t dress like the others, he wasn’t your multiplex guy. And he was, crucially, not available. But Pirates of the Caribbean changed all that and it changed Johnny Depp. After the unexpected mega-success of that film, the actor made himself available, and his aura evaporated. He made the conscious leap to middle-of-the-road A-listery and his cultural premium collapsed. Johnny Depp and his basic eyeliner were in everything, from franchises to mass-market fantasies to a couple of grim court cases with his ex-wife (obviously, Andy hasn’t been involved in even the metaphorical version of the last one, though Burnham v Starmer could be quite the rubbernecking spectacle). And honestly, most of it was highly indifferent. There was suddenly a lot less to him than had met the eye. Availability torched his cachet.

Marina Hyde is a Guardian columnist

Do you have an opinion on the issues raised in this article? If you would like to submit a response of up to 300 words by email to be considered for publication in our letters section, please click here.

Done your knee in running or in a match? Pulled something while playing with the kids? These tips should get you on the road to recovery

There’s nothing quite like a persistent ache or pain to ruin your mood. Whether it’s a recurring twinge in your lower back or an acute injury from an accident, most issues stem from imbalance – when one area of the body compensates for weakness elsewhere.

“Our bodies are inherently asymmetrical – no one’s left and right sides are exactly the same,” says personal trainer Luke Worthington. “Problems arise when we inadvertently force symmetry, trying to make both sides move identically. It disrupts our natural equilibrium and leads to overuse, strain or injury.”

Charlie Simpson, 15, is part of new generation of self-styled ‘independent journalists’ with links to far right

• UK politics live – latest updates

Andrew Rosindell had been tipped as a potential Reform recruit long before his defection from the Conservatives last weekend took Westminster by surprise.

Yet as he and Nigel Farage basked in the spotlight outside parliament on Monday, more than 200 miles away in the town of Whitby, North Yorkshire, a 15-year-old schoolboy was also savouring the moment.

The moon landing! Royal weddings! Janet Jackson’s $550,000 nipple! As television turns 100, we charts its journey from terrifyingly dangerous to the thing that unites us

1: 1926 On 26 January John Logie Baird gives the first public demonstration of television to members of the Royal Institution, from his lab in Soho. The subject of the demonstration was Stooky Bill, Baird’s ventriloquist dummy, because the lighting generated too much heat for a human to bear.

2: 1930 Luigi Pirandello’s play The Man With the Flower in His Mouth, about a man dying of cancer, becomes the first drama shown on British television, broadcast live by the BBC.

With the search for the country’s first town of culture under way, Guardian writers pick their favourite spots for art, architecture, food, festivals, music and celeb spotting

Why did Caesar, Saint Augustine, Hengist and Horsa make Ramsgate their first port of call on assorted crusading trips to England? Proximity to France? Easy landing beaches beneath the cliffs? The lively arts scene?

The only positive of this stranger-than-fiction scenario is that Greenland and Denmark stand more united than ever

• Adam Price is the creator of the TV series Borgen

As a writer of political fiction for many years, including four seasons of my TV series Borgen, I find myself in the strangest of landscapes watching Donald Trump desperately wanting Greenland like a spoilt child who has never heard the word “no”.

We dedicated an episode to Greenland in the first season in 2010 and then it became the main setting for the fourth season in 2022. Our focus on this former colony of Denmark, and its amazing Indigenous people, was motivated by one big factor. For political drama I always look for stories with emotion, and the old colonial tale of Denmark and Greenland is full of it.

Philip Young, who served on Swindon borough council, pleads guilty to offences against ex-spouse Joanne Young

A former Conservative councillor has admitted nearly 50 offences of drugging, raping and sexually assaulting his former wife over a period of 14 years.

Philip Young, 49, pleaded guilty at Winchester crown court to 11 counts of rape and 11 counts of administering a substance with intent to stupefy his former spouse Joanne Young, 48, who can be named as she has waived her right to anonymity

President’s assertion that Nato troops were not on the front line in Afghanistan has sparked widespread anger

Keir Starmer’s allies have launched a “Stop Andy Burnham” campaign to prevent the Labour mayor from returning to parliament after the resignation of a Manchester MP triggered a byelection, Pippa Crerar, Jessica Elgot and Josh Halliday report in their overnight story.

In a good analysis, Jess explains why, if Burnham does decide that he wants to return to the Commons as MP for Gorton and Denton in Manchester, he faces a colossal challenge.

Two days of rare trilateral discussions have begun but hopes are low amid continued territorial demands by Russia

The European Commission has offered a bit more detail on the deployment of 447 emergency generators from EU reserves to Ukraine, mentioned in the earlier post (12:33).

“The generators – mobilised from rescEU strategic reserves hosted in Poland – will be distributed by the Ministry for Development of Communities and Territories of Ukraine in cooperation with the Ukrainian Red Cross to the most affected communities.

The EU will not let Russia freeze Ukraine into submission and will continue helping Ukrainians get through this winter.”

They are designed to break Ukrainian spirit. They will fail.

We won’t let Russia freeze Ukraine. We bring light and warmth where Russia sends darkness.

Unison’s Andrea Egan among several figures to speak out against any moves to rig selection for Gorton and Denton byelection

The boss of Britain’s biggest union has warned Labour to ensure a democratic process in the Gorton byelection, amid signs a “Stop Andy Burnham” campaign is under way to prevent him posing a threat to Keir Starmer.

Andrea Egan, the general secretary of Unison, who started in the job on Thursday, appeared to stand against the prospect of a stitch-up in the contest as she warned against “control-freakery” in the party.